Lose It All
by domina tempore
Summary: Ronon is the only one who thinks that she's alive... and he'll do anything to get her back. For SAWS '09. ON HIATUS.
1. Lose It All Prologue

_Author's Note: My first fic for SAWS. (YAY!) When I knew that I was going to be doing something for the event, this fic was my first idea that I started to write, but I went through a ton of others (especially this past week), trying to find something that I thought was better. I got a lot of good ideas from friends, but in the end it would have just taken too long to write in the time that I had left, and so I decided to finish this, and do those fics when I have more time. (but thanks to my friends for the ideas!) But about this fic..._

_It happens in the same universe as my "Forever" series (which I mention briefly later). It was inspired by the lyrics below, which I do not own; and the characters father below, which I own even less than I own the lyrics ;). lol. I hope you enjoy it anyways. :)_

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**Lose It All: Prologue**

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_Whoa-o-o-o-o  
I wanna lose it all for  
You-o-o-o-o  
If it's the last thing that I  
Do-o-o-o-o  
The only thing that really matters now  
I wanna lose it all for you!_

_-Rush of Fools_

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Ronon staggered back, feeling like all of the air had just been sucked out of him. No! How could this have happened?

"What do you mean she's gone?" he gasped, unable to do more than repeat the words that McKay had just uttered, and unable to force any more volume from his throat than a whisper. "What happened to her?"

"It all happened so fast..." Rodney regretted now that he had been the one to let it happen, that he had to be the one to break the news to the Satedan. "There was nothing wrong when we got to that planet, honest! We were there for hours, and nothing went wrong. But then suddenly all of these masked men came out; and they gave us the whole "surrender or die" speech. And then suddenly Teyla was telling me to run, and she was fighting them. I saw her get hit over the head hard enough to kill her; I wanted to go back, but she had told me to get back, and, well..." he ran out of explanations. "I'm sorry, Ronon. If there was anything that I could have done to save her--- and I mean _anything_--- I would have done it. But she was already dead." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No," Ronon said simply. Rodney started, taken aback by Ronon's blatant... wait, what had he meant by that?

"Look, I understand that it takes time to get over this kind of thing--- and I did just dump a whole load on you at once--- but I really hoped that you wouldn't hate me-"

"She's not dead," Ronon said firmly.

"What? Look, I just said, I know that it's hard to accept; but I saw them kill her! They crushed her skull!"

"She's not dead," Ronon repeated. "I would know if she was. She isn't dead until I bring back a body to bury... and I'm gonna rescue her before it comes to that."

"Believe me, I appreciate your attitude; never give up and all that. But even though it's hard you need to accept the fact that... Ronon?" The Satedan was walking away, no longer paying any attention to his team-mate. "Ronon, you can't go back there! If those guys are gone I'm sure they took her too; and if they _are _still there they'll kill you too!"

"They won't kill me," he called back over his shoulder. "Because I'm gonna rescue her, and I'm gonna bring her back."

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_A/N: Sorry that was so short. I wanted to start the story out with a bang... a brief bang. But keep reading, please! (and be nice, I'm really nervous about this fic...) ;)_


	2. Lose It All 1

_Author's Note: Okay, not too much action here, just lead up. Don't worry, I'm planning some serious action (and worse whumpage) for later chapters ;)_

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**Lose It All: Chapter One**

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Ronon had not let anyone distract him. When McKay failed to get through to him, he had called on Sheppard and Weir in hopes that they could talk him out of his reckless plan; it was hopeless, useless; Teyla was dead. Running around the galaxy in denial wouldn't bring her back, and it certainly wouldn't honor her. But Ronon ignored them all.

"Ronon, stop." John was watching him run around his room, packing a single bag. "We all want her back just as much as you do, but she's dead!' his voice was rough with emotion. "Rodney does over-exaggerate things sometimes; but I don't think that there's any other meaning to "crushed her skull"!"

"Why are you giving up on her?"

"I'm not giving up! I'm accepting the truth--- with is _incredibly _hard for me to do, by the way--- and trying to keep the _living _members of my team in the "living" category."

"She's still alive, I know it!"

"How?"

"I just know! I can feel her, okay?" he buried his hands in his hair. "I can't explain it; but I _feel _her. Always have, kind of. And I still do. She's... hurt; really hurt. But she's alive."

"How do you know what you're feeling isn't just wishful thinking?"

"I can't afford to believe that."

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Once Ronon was off of Atlantis and on the planet, he felt the tiniest bit better. The feeling was much clearer here; Teyla was hurt, but she was not dying; not yet.

He saw footprints that led through the gate, and evidence that someone had been carried through. Blood stained the ground, and Ronon cursed softly. She was still bleeding.

There was plenty of evidence that her captors had taken her through the gate, but no evidence as to where. He backtracked their trail from the gate, to the spot where the fight had taken place. There, his soldier's eyes read the evidence there like a letter; and he found out exactly what Teyla had done. He also, to his surprise, found that Rodney seemed to be right. He traced all of her movements, and it did indeed seem that she had been hit over the head; and if the force of that hadn't killed her--- judging by the marks on the ground where her head had hit--- the fall most certainly should have. And he remembered a momentary feeling a few minutes before Rodney had returned from the planet; for a second, he thought that he'd felt something terrible happen. But it had faded instantly, and he thought no more of it. But there was every indication that Teyla had been killed here; so why wasn't she dead? Not that he was complaining, but he didn't understand. And he didn't like not understanding.

He'd hoped to find some hint of who these people were by how they fought, but he came up with nothing. Whoever they were, he didn't recognize them.

"Don't move," he heard a shaky voice behind him. He processed that for about half a second, took another half-second to decide whether or no he should simply shoot the person, and decided against it. He slowly rose from his crouch, and heard the delayed click of a gun's safety being released.

"I mean it! I'll shoot you!" Ronon obediently stopped moving, not wanting to freak the guy out if he had an itchy trigger finger. Besides, he had to find out if this guy knew anything.

"Hey, I'm not one of the guys who were here before. I'm just looking for my friend."

"The girl? Why would you come after a dead woman?" So apparently the guy knew _something about_ what had happened.

"She's my friend," Ronon said slowly, his hands curling into fists. "And I don't do too well when people try to kill my friends."

"If you value your life then you'll stop looking now. My people will kill you if they find out."

"Your people?" Ronon growled, his fists tightening. "You're one of the people that took her?"

"Took? She nearly killed me; and my people left me here to die thanks to her!"

"Nice of them," Ronon muttered.

"Shut up! I hope that they _do _let her die this time for what she-" he got no farther. Ronon turned on him, ready to blow his head off. He was surprised to find his adversary little more than a boy; but his rage let him quickly forget that as he advanced on the startled young man.

"You had better hope that she doesn't," he snarled, his voice low and deadly. "You had better hope that I find her alive and _unharmed_; or you'll _wish _that she'd killed you here." The kid was frozen in place, seeming too afraid to speak. "Believe me, I won't be nearly so nice about it as she would have been." But oddly enough, he _did _feel mercy. At least, a little. He was just a kid, not much older than twenty; about how old he had been when he had first run. And much like him, the kid was young and foolish and reckless---the fact that he had threatened Ronon said as much---but he was obviously a good fighter to have survived against Teyla. Not that Ronon thought that she would have killed him anyways; his wounds, though painful and clearly bad, were not putting him in any immediate danger.

Considering all of this, along with the fact that the kid had been one of the people who'd come for Teyla and had to know something about where to find her, Ronon slowly lowered his gun.

"What are you doing?" the kid stammered, amazed. "You're not going to kill me?"

"No," Ronon shook his head, his dreadlocks flopping in his face. "I'm going to help you and make sure that you won't die; and then you're going to help _me _find her, do you understand?" he nodded nervously. "And if you try to trick me, or kill me, or lead me into a trap, you had better pray to whatever gods know know that your death won't hurt." he nodded again.

Satisfied that he'd sufficiently terrified the him, Ronon took the kid's gun and stuffed it into his bag, then dug around in the backpack for the medicine and bandages that he'd swiped from the infirmary on his way out. He made a mental note to save most of them for Teyla; he knew that she was going to be badly hurt when he found her. That was why he'd packed this stuff, anyways. But he could spare a little on the kid; after all, he did need his help to find Teyla.

"What's your name?" he asked finally, locating a roll of bandages.

"Darus," the boy said warily, accepting the bandages and the medicine. Ronon nodded, in spite of the whole situation having to hide a smile. He could see in Darus's eyes exactly what he was thinking. What kind of guy was this that he'd threaten to kill him and then give him medicine? Or perhaps more bluntly, was this guy insane?

Ronon saw no need to ruin the young man's illusion. With any luck, the kid would be more willing to cooperate with and please a crazy man.

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_A/N: I don't know, what do you think? I know that Ronon got way less worried by the end; but he's still sure that she's alive; and now he has someone who might know where she is; so right now he's not worrying, just concentrating._


	3. Lose It All 2

_Author's Note: Eh, still not much excitement. I promise that I have some planned for him!_

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**Lose It All: Chapter Two**

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Ronon and Darus remained wary of each other, in spite of their tentative agreement and Ronon's upper hand. After the kid had finished bandaging his various wounds, Ronon asked him where Teyla was supposed to be taken.

"I don't know," he answered. "My people have no world; we have places to hide on dozens of planets. Whoever is leading chooses where we go next. He dials the gate every time, he never tells us."

"Do you know all of the addresses?" Ronon questioned, feeling his already frayed patience grow thin.

"Most of them, yes. But it will take days for you to search them all, and by then she'll be-"

"Don't say it," Ronon warned. He put the medicine back into his bag and pointed the kid towards the gate. "Just dial me one of those planets once we get to the ring."

It was a bit of a walk back, and other than the faint rustling of trees, a few scattered birdsongs, and the noise their footfalls, there was no sound. The silence gave Ronon a reason to speak.

"What _did _happen in that battle?" he asked. "Why did you attack my friends in the first place?"

"They needed her. They don't tell us why; we just capture who they say."

"Who wanted her?" Darus shrugged.

"I don't know." Ronon didn't believe him, but they would have plenty of time to "talk" about it later.

They reached the gate, and Ronon waited expectantly for Darus to dial. The kid studied the symbols for a minute, seeming unsure. Ronon's grip on his gun tightened a little, but he really didn't want to kill the kid. Besides, he still needed him.

Finally Darus began to dial, and the wormhole fell opened, creating a watery blue doorway.

"Okay," Ronon said, striding forward and towing the kid with him. "Lets go."

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_A/N: I'm sorry that this is so slow! The first few chapters of this fic have been hard; I've been dying to get a little bit more into it, to the parts that really matter that are waiting impatiently in my head to be written. Please forgive me._


	4. Fallen Angel Prologue

_Author's Note: I've been planning on taking things *kind of* in this direction ever since I came up with the idea for this fic, but I didn't plan on formatting it this way. But the idea is that "Lose It All" is everything from Ronon's side, and "Fallen Angel" is from Teyla . Two stories in one. How's that for ya? ^_^ (oh, and not like, "she's a demon" fallen angel, just... broken)_

_(I don't own these lyrics or characters, either; believe me, you would know. But I wish that I did.)_

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**Fallen Angel: Prologue**

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_...Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you..._

_-Nickleback _

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Teyla sat curled up in the corner of her cell, afraid to move because she knew that it would hurt too much. That in itself was the most ironic of all of this crazy mess; she had never been afraid of pain before. But then, she had never been afraid of fire before, either. She was realizing that the things she was too foolish to fear were the things that were hurting her the most.

They had burned her hands first.

At first, she hadn't even realized what they were doing, covering her hands in liquid. It wasn't until they had brought in torches that she realized that the liquid was oil.

She'd tried to steel herself for the pain that she'd known was coming---these people wouldn't hurt her too badly; they needed her, right?---but what she'd prepared herself for was nothing like the agony of feeling your blood boil and your skin melt and bubble and crack at the same time. She had been burned before, but never like this. She could hear herself screaming, begging them to stop with desperation that she had never felt before; but she could not remember allowing herself to scream.

Finally, they had removed her hands from the flames; but they still burned. To stop that, they'd covered her hands in icy, bitingly cold water; and the shock, almost as bad as the burning had made her pass out.

When she had awakened her hands had been doctored, wrapped in bandages so that she could not see what had been done to her. She'd been alone for a few minutes, but even then she had been unable to move, unable to even attempt an escape because of the broken bones that she had earned on the planet and the torture that they'd inflicted on her now.

In those few moments, she'd had barely enough strength to think. But she forced herself, trying to understand what they wanted from her, why they had bothered to save her life at all. She was certain that---for at least a few seconds on the planet---she had been dead. She'd literally been standing outside her broken body, looking at her crushed head with an oddly detached sense of fear. But in the blink of an eye that damage had undone itself, and she'd returned to her body and known nothing more until she'd woken up here, about to be tortured. But why---and how?---had they saved her life there only to kill her again here, like this?

She'd had no more time to speculate, for her captors had returned, and this time with a bowl of hot coals and a differnt idea of how to torture her. These people seemed to enjoy the pain caused by fire. But this time Teyla had no false assumptions about how much this was going to hurt; she had seen this bizarre torture technique used before. They were going to burn her face.

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_A/N: This scene came from an entirely different fic that I gave up on a while ago; but I really liked it. Leave a review and tell me what you think ;)_


	5. Fallen Angel 1

_Author's Note: And here's where I introduce the villain (dun-dun-duuuuuuh! lol). This was one of the things that I had trouble deciding; because I took the beginning of Teyla's side of the story from another fic that I had been planning, where the bad guy was someone very different than who I chose for this. But what this baddie works better anyways..._

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**Fallen Angel: Chapter One**

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For a long time after she had awakened from that torture, she had simply curled up and tried not to move. She knew that if she moved, she was going to hurt; and then she would see in her mind's eye what they had done to her. They had broken her bones on the planet, and the rest of her now. The proud, strong warrior that she had been reduced to a pitiful, broken slip of a woman.

_"Pathetic,"_ she thought to herself, feeling tears of anger fall from her blurry eyes, half burned. _"You're afraid because they tortured you for a couple of days. At least they're not wraith."_

_Oh, they're worse than wraith,_ the other side of her replied. _And that wasn't torture; that was murder._

_"I'm alive, aren't I?"_

_You call this life? _It was a question that Teyla truthfully couldn't answer. She sighed, wincing at the pain in her ribs as she did so, and tried desperately not to cry.

Suddenly, the door to her cell smashed opened. Her blurred eyes glanced up, but that silhouette was familiar. It knelt before her.

"Hello again, Teyla."

"Michael," she gritted, jerking away as he grasped her chin, and tried not to scream.

"Surely you're not surprised? You didn't expect for me to simply forgive you and leave you alone after you betrayed me again, did you?"

"Michael, this was not my fault, they wouldn't listen to me!" her voice sounded much weaker than she would have liked; but it hurt to talk.

"Whether that is the truth or not, they are never going to have another chance."

"Killing me will only prove that they were right in what they did." She hated how desperate she sounded. But her words did not have the effect that she had hoped. Michael laughed in her face.

"Kill you? Why would I kill you, Teyla? You're much too pretty. And besides that, I need you."

"For what? You've made me no good to anyone."

"Do you know why you are alive right now?"

"I am sure that you are dying to explain it to me," she muttered sarcastically, rolling her eyes. She was rewarded by a slap in the face that forced out a shriek of agony and made her almost dizzy enough to pass out again; but it seemed more reflexive than angry, and Michael soon regained his composure.

"One of the men who captured you wore gloves, do you remember? Of coures you do," he assumed. "You remember everything..." Teyla didn't understand what he was talking about, but she let him continue. To her annoyance, he switched subjects almost immediately.

"Have you ever heard of the gift of healer's hands?" Teyla caught her breath.

"Adeena," she breathed painfully, remembering the young woman who had helped Ronon when he'd been captured by the seekers. Michael nodded.

"There are only five true-born healers that I know of; Adeena---who you know---Lanni; two that I have never had the fortune of meeting, and one of my men. He saved you on the planet. But the DNA strand that produces this interesting gift is easy enough to manipulate into one who does not carry the ability naturally---much like your Lantean's gene therapy---and, oddly enough, is easy to reverse. And since I AM fortunate enough to have the skill to do both, I now have the ability to heal any wound, or make it worse."

Teyla frowned, and her skin as salty tears stung her burned cheeks.

"What does any of this have to do with me?" she asked bitterly. For once, she had seemed to surprise him.

"What does this have to...Teyla, I brought you here because I need you, not to hur you."

"You would heal me?" she asked, hope invading her heart for a second, before shriveling and dying like a cut flower.

"What do you want from me?" she asked suspiciously.

"I want you to obey me," he said simply. "Do anything that I ask of you."

"No," she said immediately. That was far too high a price, even to be healed. "You had better kill me now, Michael; you won't get anything from me."

"Teyla, you don't understand," he took her burned hands in his cold ones, unwrapping them. She flinched away to find that the burns were gone. "I already have this power over you; by healing you I have now sealed out connection. You can either live and obey... he took her hands, and the burns returned; this time much much worse, "...or you can live in pain. You don't really have much of a choice." He passed his hands over her body, her arms, and her face; and when he pulled back she was completely healed; whole and healthy. She stared at him in amazement, and he smiled.

"I believe we have a deal."

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_A/N: So there you go. It just had to be Michael. Please review :)_


	6. Fallen Angel 2

_Author's Note: This one is another shorty; and I'm working on the next few chapters now. But having to lead up two stories to eventually intersect has been... interesting, and it's taking a bit longer to get the next bits done. Should have them done very soon!_

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**Fallen Angel: Chapter Two**

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Michael stood with Teyla before the gate, watching as she checked her weapons and prepared to leave.

"You understand how to contact me?"

"Please," she scoffed, "I have linked minds with worse than you."

"And you also understand that it is impossible to betray me," he continued as if he hadn't heard her. "If you try, I will make you hurt so bad that you-"

"I understand," she said sharply, hating every part of what she was about to do. But what else _could _she do? She was bound to him forever now, because of how he had healed her; and he was in control. She pulled experimentally against the chains that bound her mind, and pain throbbed at her until she withdrew. Michael grinned as he watched her give up.

"Alright," he said finally. "You will be able to hear my voice from anywhere in this galaxy. And if you disobey me, I will know, and you know what will happen.

"Here is your first task..." he leaned over to whisper in her ear, giving her a vivid description of where she was to go, and exactly who he wanted her to kill. Teyla gritted her teeth and listening, wishing that she could slit his throat right there and be done with it all. But she was powerless to hurt him.

"Do it however you need to," he said. "Preferably without drawing too much attention to yourself." He cupped her face in his hands with a feather-like touch, and she twitched away from him. "We wouldn't want your friends finding out about any of this, would we?" Teyla clenched her teeth, and again had to stamp down the desperate urge to strangle him. She wouldn't make it two inches, anyways.

"You don't think that you can hide this from them, do you?" she questioned. "They are going to find me no matter how hard you try to cover it up."

"Teyla, my dear; _they think you're dead_."

"Then you shouldn't fear them learning of me." Michael's expression tightened, and Teyla smiled in spite of the pain that he was punishing her with. She realized that he didn't need to make her wounds visible to make her feel them.

"Just get the job done," he said, refusing to be baited. "I will contact you when you are done, with a new task. " He dialed the gate for her, and she cursed her inability to take action. But when he had healed her his mind had begun to seep through hers, until he had completely saturated her with his presence. He had soaked into every available part of her mind, and she could not break free.

Michael turned mack to her as the wormhole erupted into being. He smiled.

"Good luck," he said as she stepped through the gate. Once it had shut down on the other side she stumbled to the ground, biting back a curse as sharp stones stabbed her knees. The part of her that had been defying her earlier had been right; this was no life. She was a slave.

And eventually, Michael wold make her kill her friends.

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_A/N: Sorry, this one was weird. But necessary, very necessary. More will be coming soon! :D_


	7. Lose It All 3

_Author's Note: Okay, I am sorry that I've been ignoring this fic all week; that was NOT my intention. This chapter has ben murder to write, and at the end of the day I'm still not *really* satisfied with it; but this is *all* that would come out. So please forgive me for taking so long on the chapter; and for the chapter in general. And please enjoy and review!_

_Thanks, by the way, to_ **The King's Soldier**_, _**fyd818**_, and_ **raduzhok**_, for your reviews :)._

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**Lose It All: Chaper Three**

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Ronon knew immediately that Teyla wasn't on the world that Darus had taken him to. For one, he didn't feel her there; not even traces like he had on the planet.

For another, the twelve guys pointing guns at him didn't seem to know anything, either.

He glared murderously at Darus.

"I swear I didn't know that this would happen!" the kid said earnestly, the truth. Ronon's eyes shifted subtly, judging his enemies strength and reflexes and all that. It took him only a moment to make a decision.

"Duck," he muttered to Darus, before leaping into action and firing on his adversaries. He'd dropped three of them before they even knew what was happening, and then he was in among the, too close for them to use their weapons, forcing them to fight hand-to-hand. As he fought, he noticed absently that Darus was fighting, too, giving him less to deal with.

Well, a point in his favor, then.

Their battle was over in a matter of minutes, all of their opponents unconscious or dead. Ronon realized then, with certainty, that it hadn't been Teyla's intention to kill Darus at all; merely to teach him a lesson.

Of course, that didn't mean that _he _had to cut the kid any slack, regardless of his help.

"You have about ten seconds to tell me why you brought me here to be killed instead of to someplace that she might actually _be_."

"Or you'll do what?" Darus scoffed, seeming insulted that Ronon still didn't trust him.

"Eight seconds."

"I don't want my people to kill me," the kid admitted.

"What? Why would they kill _you_?"

"Because if I brought you there, I would die for it. And because I'm supposed to be dead right now, anyways. They don't _want _me to come back."

"That's too bad," Ronon muttered, running his list of options through his head.

"Look, I can't take you where you want to go; I value my life, even if you don't care about yours."

"I do," Ronon said firmly. "But I'd give it for _her _any day." Darus frowned, trying to figure that out.

"She won't be there, anyways," he mumbled. Ronon looked up sharply.

"They were going to kill her anyways?"

"No, I think that he was going to let her go..."

"Who? And why bother with any of this at all, if you were going to let her go, anyways?"

"It wasn't us," Darus said, backing away. "Never mind, forget that I said anything."

"Who has her?" Ronon growled angrily.

"I don't know his name; no one does..."

"Well then guess," Ronon said, taking a threatening step forward.

"I've never even seen him," the kid said. "The guys who did said that he's a wraith; but not _quite _a wraith..."

"Michael," Ronon hissed, swearing softly. If it that sick, sorry excuse for something living had her...

"You seem to know a _lot _more than you did back on the other planet," Ronon said, turning back to Darus with new anger in his eyes.

"If I'd told you everything, you would have killed me on that planet," Ronon opened his mouth to reply, then shut it again. He knew exactly what the kid meant; it was a strategy that he'd used a lifetime ago. He couldn't grudge the kid for knowing how to think like him. But he _had _wasted precious time in which Ronon could have at least gotten closer to finding Teyla.

"Look, tell me where he was having you take her, and I'll let you go." Darus narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Look, I'm not like your people. I don't _want _to kill you. I just want my friend back."

"What makes her so special that everyone wants her so bad?" the kid asked, amazed. Ronon shrugged.

"She's... Teyla," he said simply, as if there was nothing else. Then he turned around and began to dial the gate.

"How did you know that she wasn't here?" Darus asked, as the big blue puddle rippled, throwing showers of sapphirre light over them. Ronon paused.

"I'm not sure," he said finally. "I can feel her, I guess. Or _not _feel her, here."

"Are you seriously letting me go?" the kid asked, before Ronon had taken three steps towards the gate.

"Yeah." He sighed. "She didn't kill you, so I'm not going to." Darus was silent for a second, considering that.

"She must be powerful," he said finally. "That her simply being alive controls the lives of so many others..." he trailed off into silence.

Ronon was halfway through the gate when he heard the kid say one more thing...

"Don't bother looking for revenge; if you want her alive you have to find her first. Look for her "sense"." And then he had stepped through the gate, and it shut down behind him.

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_A/N: Whew! This chapter really did fight me the whole time; I had to drag it out kicking and screaming. But the purpose was to get Ronon on the right track looking for Teyla, and to get rid of Darus (the kid hates me.), and I think that I managed it..._

_I reeeeaallyyy really hate this chapter; please leave a review and tell me what I did wrong._


	8. Fallen Angel 3

_Author's Note: Hm, this chapter was better to write than the last one... Teyla's storyline has to move along a lot differently than Ronon's... and it's writing itself, a bit; while I've had to force some of his to come out of hiding..._

_Thanks again for all your reviews to far!_

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**Fallen Angel: Chapter Three**

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Teyla reached the village that Michael had sent her to easily, and skulked around in the shadows of the woods that bordered it, waiting for her target. It had begun to rain softly, and Teyla couldn't help but to think that under _any other_ circumstances, she would have been able to seek shelter in that village instead of sneaking in for a moment, a predator on the hunt.

She was just about to give up looking---certain that either her or Michael's timing was off---when she saw her intended victim. He was ushering a small group of people inside, smiling and joking with them. Teyla's heart sank. _Th__is _was the man that Michael wanted her to kill?

"I can't," she murmured to herself, easing down slowly on the wet ground.

_"You **can**,"_ Michael hissed in her head, a second before the pain started. At first it was so subtle that she didn't even realize it. But then she felt something snap. A bone in her finger. It was followed by a further chorus of snaps as the rest of the bones in her hand began to break, forcing tears from her eyes. She clenched her teeth and bent nearly double, curling around her hand.

_"Stop it,"_ she hissed angrily. _"Stop!"_

_"Then you will do as I say. He betrayed me, and he will pay for it with his life."_

_"I can't kill him! There must be others that you are angry with; send me after someone who has a reason to die. I am sure that you know others who would do this job gladly."_

_"You really think that they would do it half so quickly and painlessly as you? Don't worry, when you're done with him, there will be many more. You will soon become... accustomed to it."_

_"Do you think that I will ever _enjoy _killing innocent men?"_

_"Just do it,"_ Michael said; and her hand knit back together within moments. _"Go."_ Teyla rose slowly to her feet, flexing her hand and willing it not to fail her.

She descended into the now-deserted streets of the village.

"One day, I am going to kill you for what you have made me do," she whispered. To her horror, his laughter echoed in her mind.

She glided through the village on silent feet, the rain muffling any sounds that she may have made. She reached the house that the man had disappeared---alone---into, and took a deep breath, trying to shut down everything in her but the will to survive and the ruthlessness that she was capable of. She slipped inside.

The man had his back to her, putting something away in the high drawer of a dresser that stood against the far wall. The room was bare of anything but a bed and a chair and that dresser, giving the sense that no one had actually lived there for a long time.

"...I'll have to fix this soon..." the man muttered, shoving the drawer closed in unison with a crash of thunder. He then turned around, and came face to face with Teyla.

"I'm sorry," she said, as the man opened his mouth to ask her what she was doing there. "He is angry with you."

"He?" the man repeated, growing pale and starting to shake. His hand reached out to the side, looking for something to grip, to lean on. "The half-wraith?" Teyla nodded, realizing that the man really must have done something to upset Michael; to know immediately who she was talking about and be so scared.

"He said that you betrayed him," she said, her voice soft and unpowerful. She blinked back a rush of tears. "I'm sorry." And she reached up and slashed a knife acrosss his throat. His body twisted with the force of the motion, and she caught him as well, blood spilling onto her clothes. Ignoring it, she eased his body onto the bed, and folded his hands on his chest, and closed his terrified, sightless eyes.

"Im sorry," she whispered a third time, before stealing out of the house as quickly and noiselessly as she had gotten in. She headed back towards the gate.

She didn't make it that far. Once she was out of the village, what she had done registered with her, and it made her sick. She stumbled sideways like she was drunk, fell into a tree and leaned heavily on it, and began to throw up.

_"You did well,"_ Michael's voice registered past the roaring in her mind. _"But you lacked the power that I have come to expect from you; that will make these people fear you."_

"There is... no power in killing... an innocent," Teyla gasped aloud between heaves and choked sobs.

_"You are going to have to be stonger that this, Teyla,"_ Michael warned her. _"To look on death without remorse, without regret."_

_"He was an innocent man!"_

_"He betrayed me!"_ Michael's voice _became _the roar in her mind. _"He deserved to die for that!"_

_"Michael, I can't keep killing for you-"_

_"You don't have a choice, Teyla. The pain that I can make you live with is _much _worse than the regret you feel after killing."_

_"I would rather take the pain."_

_"I could take away what control you do have left,"_ Michael offered another alternative. _"Allow you to watch your body kill, controlled by a mind that is not your own. Would you prefer that?"_

_"Why are you doing this to me?"_ she demanded. But Michael simply ignored her question.

_"Here is the gate address where your next target waits..."_

In spite of herself, Teyla very quickly became used to the killing, as Michael had said. She completed her tasks with cold efficient, telling each victim simply that she was sorry before she was forced to end their lives. The routine of it had become so familiar that she grew numb to it, unable to feel anything from it anymore. She was simply cold and broken.

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_A/N: Poor Teyla! I've been really evil this fic, haven't I? Hm... I'll be nicer soon, I promise. More soon..._


	9. Lose It All 4

_Author's Note: Thank you for being so patient with me! Here is the next Ronon chapter. It's a little short, but he's finally getting close!_

_Thanks, as always, for the reviews; they make me smile (and occasionally cringe with apology. LOL)!_

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**Lose It All: Chapter Four**

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Ronon's search for Teyla had lost any sense of order; he simply trusted her and his instincts to lead him to the right planet. He was never _quite _right with that, always seeming to be one step off, a couple of days behind her. He wondered briefly if she was running away from something; maybe she was being followed and didn't want to lead a spy home? He'd had little contact with Atlantis; but from that tiny bit he knew that for whatever reason, she would not return to the city, and that everyone _there _still thought her dead. Well, he'd prove them wrong!

After several weeks of near-misses, Tonon finally got a lead. He talked to everyone that he met, describing Teyla perfectly in hopes of finding _anyone _that had seen her. He stopped in the local tavern to listen; if there was any bit of gossip involving her, he knew that the tavern was the best place to hear it. He sat hunched over a mug of beer, not really noticing the conversation going on near him about a man who had recently died... until they mentioned _her_.

Ronon sat bolt upright, staring at both the bartender and his half-drunk patrons.

"What woman?' he asked the group that he had been listening to; they had been describing Teyla. "When was she here?"

"She was here the day that Dunlaf died," one of the men slurred. "She was a pretty one; red hair, dark eyes, nice-" Ronon didn't bother to let him finish his statement.

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know; she left last week." Ronon cocked an eyebrow in his classic "I don't believe you" manner, fingering his gun under the bar and debating using it as further means of "persuasion". But the guys seemed… genuine… at least as much as anyone could be when slobbering drunk.

"I dunno!" he insisted. "Just leave me 'lone…"

"I saw her leave," a surprisingly coherent voice said from behind him. He turned and saw dark haired, skinny barmaid watching him carefully, worn hands on her hips.

"Do you remember the gate address?" he asked urgently. The girl flipped her curly hair behind her back.

"And what makes her so important to you that you'd go leaping into the unknown after her?"

"I need to find her."

"Why?" she asked. "That girl was runnin' away from something; and if it was you then you can shoot me with your fancy gun before I tell you." Ronon was taken aback by her boldness, and her apparent protectiveness of Teyla, a girl who she didn't know.

"She's my friend," he said. "she was kidnapped a few weeks ago. I just want to bring her home." The girl looked at him weirdly, then glanced around to make sure that no one was paying attention.

"Come with me," she said. Ronon followed her out of the door, very suspicious; but as always willing to risk it all if he could just find Teyla. But his fears seemed unfounded, at least for the moment. She took him to the far side of a nearly empty courtyard, then turned to face him.

"Why are you looking for her?"

"I already told you that; why are you protecting her?" The woman was quiet for a minute, and he could tell that her mind was working like lightening; he wondered if she was trying to decided if she could trust him with the truth, or if she was making up an elaborate lie.

"The man that everyone keeps taking about," she said finally, "the one who died? He was not the only man to die that day."

"What does that have to do with-"

"That other man was attacking me, in this very spot. He brought me here---people _saw _him drag me here---and no one did anything about it. But that girl you're looking for, she was running away, from whatever it was; and she saw what he was doing to me, and she killed him. She risked her life, her safety, being discovered, any and all punishment, to save MY life… or at the very least my honor. But because of that, I am going to protect her life in return." Ronon's face softened a little.

"I'm sure she's grateful," he said.

"I'm sure she wouldn't be if she found out that I told you what happened; she told me not to tell anyone." Ronon digested that bit of information for a minute, and the woman didn't move, but watched him with guarded, calculating eyes. He couldn't quite tell her reasoning for revealing Teyla's secret to him, if she had begged her not to; but the woman had seemed very sincere.

"Then why did you tell me?" he asked finally, his voice soft. The girl took a step closer to him and looked up into his face, lowering her eyes.

"Because whatever insanity has come over me, I believe that you're telling the truth," she said. "And I figure if I'm wrong, she'll kill you too."

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_A/N: Thank you all for being patient with me as I finished this chapter up. And since you've all been so lovely and patient, you get another chapter today, too ;)._


	10. Fallen Angel 4

_Author's Note: As promised, another chapter! :D I decided to italicize all of the bits where Michael and Teyla speak in her mind, as well as just her personal thoughts, because I think it reads weird if I don't. Personal thoughts are when there are only single quotation marks ( ' ), or none at all. Conversations in her mind ae in normal double quotes ( " )_

_This chapter is set about a week BEFORE the corresponding Ronon chapter, which you (hopefully) just read ;) _

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**Fallen Angel: Chapter Four**

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Teyla fell to the ground, holding her head. By now she had given up trying to stop Michael from hurting her; she just tried to ride out the pain. She'd already known anyways that he would punish her for what she'd done.

_ "You killed him!"_ he raged at her, so different from the beginning when he'd had to force her to take another's life.

_ "Why are you angry?"_ she asked. _"You "saved" me so that I can kill!"_

"You killed the wrong man!" she felt like he was punching her and kicking her; like he was right there next to her, even though she knew it was all in her mind. _"You've compromised yourself for the sake of a _barmaid_-"_

_ "She was in trouble!"_

_ "People are going to hear about this, Teyla; she'll never keep it a secret. And eventually they will start asking questions. If you are discovered…"_

_ "I'm dead anyways,"_ she said bitterly. _"What does it matter?"_ Michael shouted in rage, but his attacks stopped. For a moment all was silent, and Teyla lay on the ground panting, her own breath unnaturally loud in her ears. She wondered if he would leave her alone.

_ "You've earned a rest,"_ Michael said suddenly, changing his tune. _"There is a village on the world you are on; I will make sure that they offer you shelter for a few days until we find out how much damage you've caused, and I decide how to punish you." _Against her will, her body began to right itself, and she rose to her feet. _"Start walking. Slowly."_

Confused, but too tired to fight, Teyla did as she was told, hearing the sounds of the village in the distance. She wondered what Michael's plan was to get her accepted into the village; if he was going to take over her voice, or merely tell her what to say, or make her fight for it…"

_ "Don't run,"_ he hissed, the second before she was attacked.

Three pale men in dark clothes leaped at her, looking wild. She reacted instantly, dropping into a low, defensive position. She let out a savage, not quite human growl to let them know what kind of woman they were dealing with, and was prepared for their next attack.

There was something different about these men; or maybe it was something about _her_. Either way, she was not doing as well against them as she had expected. And it _should _have been easy; after all, they were just bandits; and she had spent the last month killing people twice as strong as them. So why was she failing now? Her body felt slow and sluggish; and each movement made her feel like she was straining to move through thick tar.

In spite of her efforts, the men soon overpowered her, and had her on the ground. She grunted in pain and glared up at them defiantly as they leaned close, whispering vile threats to her. She wondered grimly what purpose all of this would serve if Michael wanted her to be accepted in the village.

_ "Scream, fool!"_ Michael's order came clear in her mind. To illustrate his command, the bones in her wrist suddenly snapped.

Teyla cried out in agony at the unexpected hurt, but Michaels intent soon became clear to her as unfamiliar voices and footsteps approached. Her leering attackers quickly took flight as several men appeared from the direction of the village. Three of them instantly gave chase to the retreating men, but two of them stayed with her, kneeling and examining her wounds carefully.

"Grandfather, look! It's a woman!"

"I can see that, Jonai." The first voice had belonged to a boy no more than twelve; he reminded her of Jinto. The other voice---his grandfather---belinged to a man who was very old and wrinkled, but had the gentlest, kindest face. Teyla's eyes dropped closed, but for a moment she remained conscious enough to hear what the man and the boy were saying.

"She's so pretty," Jonai said, as if he did not see her wounds, the blood and mud that covered her. "Do you think she's an angel?"

"I would not be surprised," his grandfather replied. "In fact, I would not be surprised if she was sent by the ancestors themselves!"

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What happened next was all a great blur to Teyla.

The men had not succeeded in catching her attackers; they had returned livid with rage at what those men had done to Teyla.

Jonai had talked incessantly as the men had tenderly carried Teyla to their village, and handed her over to the village healer. The woman had shut her doors and sealed Teyla inside.

Wood. Smoke. Herbs. All characteristic of a healer; their scents were familiar and comforting.

Another voice; another healer. A younger woman had joined the first, and they spoke quietly on what to do.

Teyla could feel herself being stripped to reveal her wounds. The woman tending her were talking about burning her clothes.

"No!" she cried deliriously. "Don't burn them! I need… I need… I need…" but she was unable to complete the sentence. Every thought was lost and jumbled in her mind, until only one clear image remained. That image was a face, and that face had a name; and that name became her lifeline as she continued to hurt.

"Ronon!" she sobbed, her voice sounding garbled in her own ears. But she hung on to his image, his face, his name, and called to him again and again.

_ 'Ronon, Ronon, Ronon!' _She needed to survive. Michael was doing this to her, and she needed to survive so she could kill him, and go back to that man, that face.

_ 'Ronon, Ronon, Ronon!' _She needed him, he was what kept her alive. Her thought of him, her memories, that was what had kept her living so far. That and the hope that maybe one day she could see him again, hear him tell her that he loved her just one more time; hear her own voice tell him the same.

"Rono-ah!!" The pain grew worse, almost unbearable; and Teyla thrashed feveredly against the arms that held her down, and gathered her breath for one final scream.

"_RONON_!" The scream turned into a shriek, the shriek turned into a whimper, and everything grew black.

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_A/N: Thoughts?_


	11. Lose It All 5

_Author's Note: I'm sorry that this took so long to get up; I realized after I posted the last chapter that I made a mistake with the timing, and I had to figure out how to explain it away. And as usual, I ve been having all sorts of computer trouble :P I *think* that I managed to do it, so we'll see ;). I hope that you enjoy! :D_

_Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed so far! :D_

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**Lose It All: Chapter Five**

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"_RONON_!"

"_Teyla!_" he thundered when he heard her call him. He looked around wildly, in search of the source of the voice. The girl in front of him jumped in surprise, then suddenly her eyes widened, and she slapped one hand over his mouth, using the other to pull his head straight so he would look her in the eyes.

"Be quiet!" she hissed. "Unless you want everyone here to think that you're possessed!" She kept her hand over his mouth until she saw understanding in his eyes. Finally, she relented and let him speak.

"I heard her!" he whispered furiously. "She screamed for me, she's here!"

"No, she isn't," the girl told him firmly. "I swear that I saw her go... and no one screamed but you."

"But I heard her!" he insisted desperately. "And she's hurt real bad again!" Swaying unsteadily, he pushed past the girl... and promptly fell to his knees. His head was swimming and he couldn't focus. He'd never felt this way before... so why was this suddenly happening to him now?

The girl was kneeling next to him, talking and acting very worried.

"What happened?" she was babbling frantically. "Are you alright?"

"M'fine," he muttered. "Tha... was weird."

"Perhaps your connection to her affects you more than you thought," she said thoughtfully. She looked him over quickly, assessing his condition, and shook her head.

"You can't leave today."

"No! I have to find her!"

"And you will; but you are in no condition to be chasing her across the galaxy right now. You need rest."

"I can't..." the girl ignored his protests, and threw his arm over her shoulder, helping him up. She half carried him through the streets, and his mumbled protests fell on deaf ears.

"You need to see the old one," she insisted. "The healer." She took him down a narrow street to a tiny house. He leaned heavily on her as she reached out to knock on the door of the house, unbalancing him.

"Wha 're we doin'?" he mumbled, his words slurring as if he was drunk. The girl looked at him with concern.

"Something is happening to you; you need help."

"No I don't," he shook his head. "I gotta go… gotta find Teyla." The girl opened her mouth to reply, but the door opened suddenly, startling them both. On the other side was a small, wrinkled old woman. Ronon recoiled, his blurry mind unable to see her as anything but a witch.

"Selena!" she cried softly, her voice surprisingly smooth and beautiful. "What have you brought for me, girl?" Selena's grip tightened on Ronon's arm as he tried weakly to turn and run.

"There's something really wrong with him, he needs your help."

"What's wrong with him? Speak up, girl."

"Gotta find Teyla…" Ronon mumbled again, getting more frantic. "I have to go, she's hurt!"

"I think that he's connected to her, somehow."

The witch ran a critical eye over him.

"Alright, fine, bring him in." She quickly ushered Selena and Ronon inside, throwing a nervous glance down her empty street before retreating and closing the door behind her.

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_A/N: Sorry that it's kinda short. The next couple should be a little bit better. Please review! :D_


	12. Lose It All 6

_Author s Note: Another Ronon chapter I wanted to do more than one chapter for each of them this time around._

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed! :D_

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**Lose It All: Chapter Six**

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Ronon groaned as light hit his eyelids. He rubbed his forehead and tried to block the light, it was too much. All he wanted was to rest…

No! That was _not _all he wanted. He had to find Teyla; _that _was all that mattered now, all that he wanted.

He opened his eyes and sat straight up, confused. Where was he? He hadn't stayed in a house in weeks; he'd been constantly on the move. Had something gone wrong?

"You're alright." He looked around until his eyes settled on a ragged old woman.

"Who are you?" he asked, reaching for his gun and finding that it was no longer at his side.

"Your weapon is fine, I took it so that you wouldn't accidentally _shoot _something in the state that you were in. You'll get it back when you leave."

"When am I leaving?" he asked. "_Who are you_, why am I here?"

"You're here because you need my help, and you're leaving when I say you're ready. Teyla will be fine for a few days; she's made it this far."

"Are you a witch?" Ronon asked warily, eyeing her with caution. She didn't _look _dangerous…

"Tell me about Teyla," she said, ignoring his question. "Who is she; why are you so connected to her?"

"What are you talking about? She's my friend, she's in trouble; I need to help her."

"I understand that!" the witch snapped impatiently. "And I know she's more to you than just your friend; you love her, that's why you're doing all of this. But how are the two of you connected? In all my years I've never seen a bond shared like that of you two.'

"I have no idea what you're talking about,"

"How long have you known her?" Ronon considered her question for about half a second, then shook his head.

"I don't have time for this," he said. "Give me my gun back and let me outta here." He started to get to his feet, but the witch grabbed his shoulders in a surprisingly strong grip and hung on tight.

"_How long_?" she demanded, her fingers digging painfully into his muscles. Ronon groaned, rolling his eyes.

"About a year and a half, alright? Now let me go!"

"A year and a half?" she gasped. Then she shook her head. "No, no, that is impossible. You cannot possibly have such a life bond in barely a year."

"Life bond?" Ronon questioned, curious in spite of his worry. The witch nodded, seeming encouraged by his interest.

"Yes. The two of you are special together; you match. Your love has always been meant to be. It is like that for all true matches; but normally it takes years to be realized. And a bond like the one that you two share is something that would take ordinary people a lifetime or longer to accomplish. Incredible…" she shook her head in amazement. "How have you done this?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. It just… is. Things have always been this way. I can feel her, always, even if she's a million miles away like she is now." He paused. "She's still hurt," he said after a second. "But…"

"Not as badly?" the witch guessed.

"How did you-?"

"I have my ways," she said with a secretive shrug. "But what of you? How do YOU know?"

"I can't explain it," Ronon said, frustrated by her persistence. "It just is."

"You fascinate me, runner."

"How did you know _that_?" he asked, not sure if she had been doing anything more than guessing.

"'Know a man by his words and a runner by his scars,'" she quoted. Ronon knew the saying, but he couldn't think of where he had heard it. "But truly, you fascinate me. I have never before me anyone with a sense such as yours or who shares the bond that you do. You are truly unique; and I have ne doubt that your Teyla is as well, or she wouldn't be meant for you. I hope that when you find her, you are able to undo what has been done." Ronon frowned at her thoughtfully.

"You can "feel" me and the bond that I have with her, right?" he questioned for clarity.

"Yes."

"Can you feel anything about _her_?" The witch's forehead wrinkled in concentration, and for a moment she was silent.

"I can tell very little about her from here; she is to far, too… guarded."

"Tell me what you can," he begged.

"She is hurt, like you said," she murmured, closing her eyes. Her frown deepened. "But it is a hurt that will not leave; something that stays and fights and digs deeper and deeper… it is a great pain. I don't know what causes it, or it there is anything that can be done, but…" she trailed off, and her eyes flickered opened. "Her cries too time to get to you; several days. Something is blocking your connection, trying to destroy it." She paused. "Be careful, runner. There is much more at stake here than you know."

Ronon begged her to tell him what she meant by that, but she shut her lips and refused to say anything more. Finally Ronon gave up, and changed the subject.

"How long have I been here?" he asked, wondering how many hours he'd lost and how he'd be able to make up that time.

"About three days.

"What?!" He'd been here for that long?! Teyla would be long gone by now; he'd never reach her in time.

"Relax; from what I can tell she has not moved for days; you'll find her soon enough."

"I've wasted way too much time here," he said, feeling reflexively to check his weapon and again finding it gone. He swore.

"Calm down," the witch said again. "You're not going anywhere until tonight when Selena comes to check on you. She will take you to the gate then; but these old bones won't let me walk that far anymore; it will _be _night before I can make it there."

"I can find it on my own," he assured her.

"Stay for just a few more hours; have a meal," she insisted, her voice taking on an air of command. "You'll need strength where you're going." His mind going crazy at the delay, Ronon forced himself to do as the witch said, mentally willing the sun to move faster. He focused on Teyla's sense, making sure that she didn't get worse.

Soon after dark Selena came, and within half an hour Ronon was back at the gate again, saying goodbye. The witch had not come with them all the way there, but she had walked with them to the edge of the village, making Ronon suspect that she had simply not wanted him to leave. But he was going now, so he chose not to make trouble.

"Good luck," Selena whispered to him. He threw her a grateful, worried smile, his features illuminated in the watery light of the stargate.

"Thanks." He was certainly going to need it.

Checking his gun one more time, he took a deep breath and stepped through the gate.

On the other side, he met with the bright white fog of morning.

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_A/N: I hope that you like it; another chapter will be up in like, five minutes! ;) lol Please review. *begs* *gives puppy dog eyes* _


	13. Fallen Angel 5

_Author s Note: And finally, we get back to Teyla. I ve put her through the ringer so far in this fic, but this chapter is a little bit more relaxed. I hope you like it :)._

_Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed!_

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**Fallen Angel: Chapter Five**

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Days blurred into each other, the sounds and smells and brief sights blending together to make one constant scene of pain and confusion. She later realized that her screams---which had seemed to come right after she had been hurt---had not escaped for several days, maybe more. The other thing that she comprehended, was that she had screamed for Ronon because the pain had been gradually growing worse, not healing.

The days after that were similarly indistinguishable from each other. The only thing that she knew for sure was that she had called Ronon's name until her throat was too raw to make any noise at all, and that she had tried to keep calling him anyways. She had succeeded only in making that pain worse.

Eventually, though, things began to make sense again, and she started to notice the passage of time. She was starting to heal.

After about three days that she had been able to measure, she woke up feeling better. She was till far from healed---it would be foolish to assume otherwise---but she was awake and alert and even a little hungry. She remembered the lesson that she had learned from Rodney; if you were hungry, you were healing.

The two healers smiled when she asked them for food, hugely pleased. They didn't think that she could handle anything more than broth or porridge, but Teyla was grateful for any food that was not stolen or hunted hastily on the run.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," the older one said finally, her gentle teasing reminding Teyla sharply of Carson. "We were worried about you. How are you feeling now that you've woken and had something to eat?" Teyla smiled a little, and was glad when Michael stayed silent in her mind.

"Better," she admitted, shifting a little under her covers. "I would like to get up, actually, if I could?" The healers exchanged a glance, which Teyla hoped was a good sign.

"Maybe in a day or two; you're still not fully healed."

"You've dine more than enough," Teyla started to assure them, but before Michael could even punish her, they both started to protest.

"Oh no, we're not done yet!"

"You're not leaving until you're completely well and healed again." Tears pressed at her eyes because of their kindness; she was grateful, even if their actions DID unintentionally fit into Michael's plans to have her stay. It had been so long since she had been welcome anywhere.

"Thank you," she whispered, allowing herself to feel just a little bit of emotion.

The next few minutes were a whirlwind of thank you's and gentle arguments between/with the two healers. Eventually, Teyla won, and they decided to let her get up.

"…well, I suppose that if you promise to take it _easy_, you may get up today. But if you feel the slightest bit tired or dizzy or unwell, or if anything starts hurting again, you come right back here; or at the very least, sit down until someone can come and get us." They made her promise, but Teyla was more than willing to pay any price that they could as for a chance to finally get up and stretch her muscles again.

Once that was decided, the younger healer brought clothes for her.

"We took your other clothes; we tried to get rid of them, but you wouldn't let us; but they were so old and filthy, I don't think you'd WANT to wear them again." She placed her pile on the bed. "We managed to find these for you; I hope they'll be acceptable." After that the two of them left the room, purposefully giving her privacy as she changed, though they told her to call them if she needed anything else, and they would be there immediately.

The clothes were a different style than she was used to---the tan pants and dark boots were not Athoisan style, and the low-cut shirt and slim fitting jacket were cut strangely---but they were well-made and comfortable. And they felt wonderful after spending weeks and weeks in that single outfit, covered in blood that was not her own.

As she dressed, she shuddered to see the various gashes and bruises that covered her body. She looked awful. Michael had hurt her more than she'd thought.

Once she was done dressing---a painful process in her current state, though she would never admit it---she attempted to walk.

She sucked in a sharp breath as her first step nearly made her collapse and left her clinging to the bed for support. The next step met with similar results, as the next one, and the next,.

It took her about five minutes to get used to walking again, and even then she was still weak and unsteady, her limbs shaking from the effort. After satisfying herself by being able to walk around the rooms several times, she had to rest, and sat back down on the bed.

"This is going to be interesting," she muttered to herself, having made a habit of it during her travels. She was glad when Michael still did not answer.

After a few minutes, Teyla stood up again, and managed to walk to the door in a straight line. She leaned against the doorframe and looked out at the village that she had come to, able to really see it for the first time.

It was not very large, as far as such things went, but it was not destitute. Certainly they had little, but Teyla saw signs of a market and steady trade and fair crop. Everything was clean and well-built and well tended. There was obviously great care in this place.

Teyla almost cringed when she thought that, sure that micahel was going to come at her with some punishment for her thoughts; or he would find someone for her to kill and ruin these people and everything that they thought of her. But he seemed to have disappeared completely. He inflicted no pain, and he did not say one thing into her mind.

Teyla grinned for the first time in many, many days. She had forgotten what it was like to not have his mind pressing constantly down on hers. And the thought that maybe their connection had been broken, that the healers maybe had done something unknowingly to sever the bond, filled her with hope.

Suddenly, Teyla didn't want to stand still anymore. Gathering herself and ignoring the pain that her wounds caused her, she stepped out of the door and into the opened.

Her appearance turned heads, and she briefly debated the wisdom of her actions. But before she had made it more than three steps, she was surrounded by a crowd of children, led by Jonai. He told the story proudly of how he had found her and brought her back. Teyla smiled at his bragging and let him say what he would; she liked him, and she doubted that she could recall the events with enough clarity to correct him. But suddenly, his words made her burn with guilt and shame.

"…and she's an angel; the ancestors sent her to us, and because we helped her, they'll bless us."

"They already did," a little girl said seriously. "They sent her."

"But I found her," Jonai was eager to remind them all. "I found the angel, and me and my grandfather saved her life!"

"Thank you for saving me," Teyla interrupted him. "I am forever in your debt for what you have done. But I am no angel."

"Yes you are," Jonai insisited. "What else could you be?" Teyla couldn't find a suitable answer for him, much less a true one. She knew better than the boy, and she knew that her presence here was an absolute curse to them; there was no way that anything good could come out of this. But she could not admit to anyone here the fallen angel that she had become.

_Murderer!_ her conscience hissed, taunting her with her own voice instead of Michaels.

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_A/N: Okay, so it was MOSTLY lighter. At least she got a break from Michael. Leave me a review, tell me what you think ;). I hope that you liked these new chapters; one more to go for today!_


	14. Fallen Angel 6

_Author s Note: Okay, this is the last chapter that I have done; but I hope that this and the three others have satisfied you, and made up for the time that I took to get them to you. I m working on the next block, I m not sure when I ll be done, but hopefully things will start moving along quicker again as a couple of other projects wind down._

_Thanks so much to everyone who s reviewed so far! :D_

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**Fallen Angel: Chapter Six**

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The next morning, Teyla awakened feeling less sore and more steady. The night before Jonai had insisted that she have dinner with his family. She had accepted, not having the heart to refuse him and feeling that she owed them thanks for saving her life. But she hadn't been able to eat much; her stomach did not welcome food after so long without. Soon after the meal she had returned to the healer's house as they had insisted, and had fallen asleep almost instantly.

Now she was rested and stronger, and more in control. She got up, pulled on her bots and jacket, and walked out into the street. It was still very early, and few people were out in the thick morning fog that blanketed everything.

She took a deep breath, and it rasped a little in her still-raw throat, but she was actually feeling better for once. Maybe things would be alright now.

Several people smiled and waves when they saw her, and she returned their greetings, pleased that they cared to know her.

Teyla wandered slowly through the streets, still mindful of her condition but wanting to explore this new place that she thought she could come to call home.

_ "No, you won't."_ Teyla nearly cried out, and only managed to hold her tongue by squeezing her eyes closed and covering her ears. Michael!

_ "What are you doing?"_ she asked, grimacing. He laughed at her.

_ "You didn't really think that I would simply disappear and leave you stranded here, did you?"_

_ "Go away!" _she snapped. _"You have already ensured that I have no chance of ever returning to the city; do not ruin the chance that I have here. I can do your work with this as my home."_

_"So you've grown rather fond of these people, have you?" he asked with evil interest. "We can't have that; you cannot afford to have ties. Which one is it that holds you here, hm?"_

_ "Leave them alone!" _she hissed furiously, thinking of Jonai and his grandfather and the healers. She could not let him hurt them.

_ "Ah, the boy who calls you an angel. You want to protect him."_

_ "DO NOT HURT HIM!"_ Teyla protested, her footsteps carrying her out of the village so that her fight with Michael would not be witnessed.

_ "Oh, Teyla, I'm not going to kill him." _He laughed darkly. _"You are."_

_ "NO!"_

_ "Yes! I told you that I was going to punish you, Teyla."_

_ "He's a_ child_! Men I have destroyed for you, innocent or not; but I cannot kill a child!"_

_ "You can either kill the boy---" _Michael began.

"_Teyla!_" A distant cry came from the direction of the stargate. It was a voice that she recognize, and her heart leaped for a moment before Michael crushed it.

_ "…or you can kill him,"_ he finished. _"I'll let you have the day to decide."_

_ "NO!" _Teyla wanted to run, she wanted to turn around and run as fast as she could and never look back. She wanted to escape this place, this choice. But again Michael's control won out, and kept her rooted to the spot as that voice she recognized traveled towards her.

_ "Do _not _tell him_ anything_,"_ Michael hissed, as a man appeared out of the forest. He gasped, and Teyla couldn't breath for a different reason._ 'Go home!'_ her mind screamed. But he couldn't hear her thoughts.

"Teyla…?" He almost didn't seem to believe it. Teyla opened her mouth to speak and found that she was crying, and could utter nothing but his name.

"Ronon." He ran to her and embraced her. Teyla clung to him, crying, willing him to go away and leave her; she didn't want to kill him. But he squeezed her tighter and started babbling.

"Teyla, I'm so glad I found you. Oh my gosh, you scared me, I thought you died a couple of times. And I was always just a couple of steps behind you… oh, I'm so glad you're safe." Teyla sobbed into his chest, the knowledge of what she would soon have to do killing her. But she could not choose to save Ronon over the child.

She wanted to tell him, wanted to pour out the whole story and have him fix it. But Michael still had too much control over her, and he wouldn't let her say it. Her lack of response seemed to concern Ronon. He suddenly pulled back and held her at arm's length.

"Teyla, you are okay, right?" His worried green eyes searched hers, and she couldn't bear to meet them for a moment. She looked away, trying to blink back her tears.

"I can't believe you're really here," she whispered. She shook her head, half-hoping that it was a dream and yet desperately glad that it wasn't, at least for that moment.

"Teyla…" He pulled her into his chest again, and she squeezed her eyes shut and tried desperately not to scream.

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_A/N: Wow *takes deep breath* So there you go; Ronon has finally found her. Sorry for the super-mega cliffie; but I promise that I'll fix it eventually. Please review and tell me what you think; it's a great motivator for me to keep writing ;)._


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